The personalities of each companion in Baldur’s Gate 3 are one of the most fun elements to explore in the game. The further along your adventure’s you get, the more they open up as you learn about their history and who they are.
As people continue to play, and replay, the game, seeing fan reactions to the general moods and vibes of each companion is all a part of the community experience for the game, and on Sept. 28, one fan crafted the perfect chart to describe each companion using an age-old meme.
Using the headline “children yelling: McDonalds! McDonalds! McDonalds!” one fan tried to decipher where on the spectrum each character would lie as a parent. Would they say “we have food at home,” be just as excited about the fast food chain as their children, or would they go there just to purchase coffee for themselves and nothing for the children?
As one might expect, the team of companions equally as excited about McDonald’s was the game’s more fun-loving characters and those that love helping others. Led by Karlach, the trio at that end of the spectrum also included Gale and Wyll.
Halsin was the perfect example of a character that would say “we have food at home,” but Jaheira and Lae’zel were close by. Astarion stood out as the lone sadistic person that would go through the drive through just to disappoint his children by ordering something just for himself, and Shadowheart sat somewhere in between the final two options.
For those wondering what Minthara would do, well, the creator of this meme believed the Drow Paladin wasn’t someone that could be confined by the parameters of such an exercise—or that she should be a parent at all. She was put in her own special box labeled “Parks on a steep cliff. Gets out and pushes the car over the edge.”
The Paladin is a companion players only tend to add to their party on evil playthroughs because of the requirements for adding her to your party, and her cutthroat nature stands out among the others. Some comments in a thread to Reddit suggested that pushing the car off a cliff would be a “test” to see if the children were smart enough to get out of the car.
No matter which way you look at it, the chart is just as funny as it is accurate, and the only thing that’s missing in it is Minsc, who I think we all know would be right there with Karlach screaming for McDonald’s too.
